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<title>Agathokakological by collapsethelightintoearth</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22658923">Agathokakological</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/collapsethelightintoearth/pseuds/collapsethelightintoearth'>collapsethelightintoearth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dark(ish) Doctor Drabbles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Study, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Dark Thirteenth Doctor, Drabble, Drama, Dubious Morality, Gen, Gen Work, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Referenced Time War (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor Era, Time Lord Victorious, Time War (Doctor Who), Wordcount: 100-500, kind of vague nonsense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:56:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22658923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/collapsethelightintoearth/pseuds/collapsethelightintoearth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Agathokakological (adj.): Composed of both good and evil</p><p><em>Or:</em> The Doctor, morality, and the relativity of truth</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dark(ish) Doctor Drabbles [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Agathokakological</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor knows she is<em> better</em> when she doesn’t travel alone. But<em> better</em> does not always equate to <em>good enough</em>, and across every timeline—the ones that happen (<strike>the ones she<em> allows</em> to happen</strike>), and the ones she disintegrates so utterly that not even the faintest vestiges remain—the reality is this:</p><p>The Time War did not so much forge darkness within her as it did nurture that which already existed. Everything was just so unbearably quiet in her mind—<em>after</em>. It took a great deal more effort to keep that darkness enshrouded and obscured from conscious thought and action, and it was an effort she was not always willing to make.</p><p>The Doctor knows that the truth is rarely just one thing. And the trick, when telling the truth, is knowing which part to tell, and which part to keep secret, sometimes even from yourself. After all, it doesn’t matter how many eons pass by, or how many worlds rise and fall and flourish and crumble in the meanwhile; the truth will always, always still be there when you’re ready to accept it.</p><p>Traveling with companions gives her perspective, and encourages her inclination towards compassion. She doesn’t want to hurt them—wants to keep them safe, and sometimes she even succeeds in that. But caring can be dangerous, and not only for her. She thinks of Ashildr (<em>The Doctor is no longer here—you are stuck with </em>me<em>!</em> <em>And I will end you, and everything you love</em>), remembers wanting to break her with incredible, ruthless efficiency. Clara, wonderful, impossible, <em>terrified</em> Clara, had stopped her, then. (<strike>She doesn’t always choose to stop. Like all of her companions, mercy is not a constant in her life.</strike>)</p><p>And when the Master asked her, years and years ago <strike>(and right now, at this very moment, and billions of years into the future</strike>) if she felt like a god—</p><p>—part of her wanted to say <em>yes</em>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, in the spirit of full disclosure, as of now I've barely seen any of the Thirteenth Doctor—though I have been reading a looootttt of fanfics (I'm still getting back into Doctor Who after Steven Moffat kinda soured it for me after a while), and I have to say, I love her and also I want her to <em>snap</em>. But also I want her to be happy, although maybe if she snaps she'll release some of that insane amount of pent-up negative emotions I've been observing from gifsets of recent episodes. *shrug*</p></blockquote></div></div>
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